


madrigal

by zappactionsdower



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Brief Discussion of Mental Illness, Brief mention of self-harm, Goddess Tower (Fire Emblem), M/M, b-grade movie horror which is to say not horror at all, school dances are lame, terrible teenage ideas
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-16
Updated: 2021-02-16
Packaged: 2021-03-18 06:35:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,754
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29485350
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zappactionsdower/pseuds/zappactionsdower
Summary: Felix followed his gaze.  The Goddess Tower didn’t look like anything special - not from this far away.“Did you ever wonder what it looked like up there?”“At the top?”  Dimtiri tilted his head thoughtfully.  “Sometimes..”“Then why don’t we go see it?”  Rodrigue wasn’t expecting him home until very late and with it starting to get dark, it wasn’t as though they’d be seen.“Felix, that’s illegal.”  Dimitri frowned.  “Besides - “Of course Dimitri would want to be so straight-laced.  This Dimitri was dull, too invested in what people thought of him.  “Then I’ll go myself.”
Relationships: Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd/Felix Hugo Fraldarius
Comments: 4
Kudos: 20
Collections: 2021 Dimilix Week





	madrigal

Felix detested dances. They were so painfully  _ fake _ , a bunch of teenagers preening around as though they'd met their soulmate before they'd even graduated high school. He had better things to do with his time than pretend to be interested in bubblegum pop music and who was swaying with who.

And yet he was here at the White Heron Senior Ball because Annette made a bet he wouldn’t show up.

And Felix Hugo Fraldarus did not back down from challenges.

White herons lined the walls of the old community building. Volunteers had gone through an obscene amount of trouble to hang silver foil stars and gauzy lace all over the wooden rafters. Someone even created a paper mache moon and rigged up lights inside it. It was tacky and sentimental and cheap. Drinks were lined up on a table, all in bottles because someone always attempted to sneak in alcohol.

They had  _ cupcakes _ . With little white glitter on top of fluffy dark blue icing.

After ten minutes of glaring at everything and everyone, he was ready to make an exit. Felix tapped Annete on the shoulder and very briefly tolerated a hug and a selfie before he bailed. He tugged his hood up and disappeared out the side door for some fresh air and the quiet of the night.

He wouldn’t be like Dimitri, dancing around with girls he didn’t even know and smiling in such a fake, pleasant way that it made Felix’s stomach churn. As if any of those girls knew him or saw him as anything other than some fairy tale prince that would sweep them off their feet and take them to some imaginary castle.

That wasn’t the real Dimitri. The real Dimitri disappeared four years ago and was replaced with an empty shell that everyone else treated as some kind of mysterious school idol. Felix wasn’t that dense and he refused to indulge himself in pointless fantasies.

The air was just starting to get cold as fall moved in. This far out from town proper, right on the edge of the old historical district, there were fewer streetlights and even less traffic. That was fine – it allowed Felix to look up and focus on the usually-obscured stars and the full moon.

“Shouldn’t you be driving home?” 

Felix twitched. “Is that any of your business?”

Dimitri had left the dance and was standing several feet behind him. Felix spared only a glance behind and sniffed indignantly. Dimtiri’s hands were stuffed in the pockets of his furred jacket and yet he still looked –

“Shouldn’t you be back in there? They’re probably going to crown you King of the Senior Mountain Heap.” Dimitri, wearing a paper-foil crown, surrounded by empty adulation and looking like every generic boyscout in every movie –

“I was hoping to avoid that, actually.” Dimitri stepped forward and Felix forced himself to stand stock-still. “It was… stuffy in there. I much prefer the air out here.”

“Right.” Felix answered noncommittally. The sooner he walked away from this, the better. It wasn’t that he hated Dimitri – he l – he had a  _ history  _ with him that stretched back before Felix could even remember anything.

But then Glenn died, and Dimtiri left, and it all went to shit. And even if Dimitri appeared back in Senior Class four years after the fact, smiling and pleasant and acting as though nothing at all happened,

“It’s a long walk home.” Dimitri continued. “Do you not have a ride?”

“I like walking.” He’d arrived with Leonie who had every intention of winning at some absurd party game against Lorenz. Lysithea was there too, determined to test out every sugary snack at the table.

Maybe he’d been better off with them.

“Ah. May I accompany you?”

Accompany. How utterly  _ chivalrous _ of him. “I don’t need a babysitter.”

“For old time’s sake?”

Felix felt his throat tighten. Fine. Whatever. “Do what you want.”

As much as he didn’t want to admit it, there was something incredibly calming about walking with Dimitri. He wasn't one for small talk or useless chatter like Sylvain nor was he as stern as Ingrid could be. 

Instead, Felix just indulged in the quiet, the steady rhythm of their shoes cracking against gravel and the occasional car that drove by. The sun had almost completely set, casting everything in greys and dull browns.

Ahead, sitting just beneath the bank of black mountains stood the old festival grounds and right in the center of that, the Goddess Tower. No one really remembered who built it or why, but sometime in the distant past some overly-excited wealthy developer decided to build some sort of folksy tourist trap around it. They’d commissioned a small, winding hedge maze around the tower, filled the place with statues from all across the country, and added in a carousel and carnival games for good measure. People still visited the place during the spring and summer but the Goddess Tower had long ago been closed up and declared a “historical relic.”

Now, it was the source of many local legends tha Felix suspected were all made up to entice tourists. Some said a fire had burned the original tower and the people trapped inside it and thus the rebuilt structure was cursed and full of wandering spirits forever haunting those who went too close. Some said if you reached the top with someone you cared about, your relationship would be blessed by Sothis herself and you’d become soulmates or something equally trite. Some said vows made at the top would last for eternity. Some said, instead, that a pair of lovers fell to their deaths rather than be separated. Some said the tower was built over something  _ Other _ , and beneath a full moon the same creatures that were supposed to be locked away were allowed to go out and cause mischief.

EIther way, it meant that the closest Felix had ever been to the tower itself was when they used to ride the carousel and play games before Glenn scurried them off to a nearby playground to wear themselves out. 

“Have you chosen a university yet?” Dimitri asked and Felix’s attention swerved back to the present moment. 

“Not yet.” He’d seen several watermarked envelopes sticking out from Dimtiri’s bag, all of them thick and organized. Dimitri could get in anywhere, just by his last name.

Felix could as well, if he wanted to. But nothing spoke to him. Nothing felt right. He wanted to go as far away as possible from his hometown, away from all the sepia-toned memories and towards some amorphous goal, but something kept him in eternal flux. 

“What do you want to do?”

Felix tugged his hood farther down his face. “Why do you ask?”

“Apologies.” Dimitri turned away to look towards the tower. “Just curious, I suppose”

Felix followed his gaze. It didn’t look like anything special - not from this far away. It wasn’t even an architectural marvel - only about three stories high with very few stained glass windows and odd vines crawling all along its black stone. About the only unusual part of it was the top itself - held upright by columns and with statues of green saints staring outwards at the horizon. 

“Did you ever wonder what it looked like up there?”

“At the top?” Dimtiri tilted his head thoughtfully. “Sometimes..”

“Then why don’t we go see it?” Rodrigue wasn’t expecting him home until very late and with it starting to get dark, it wasn’t as though they’d be seen.

“Felix, that’s illegal.” Dimitri frowned. “Besides - “

Of course Dimitri would want to be so straight-laced. This Dimitri was  _ dull _ , too invested in what people thought of him. “Then I’ll go myself.”

“Felix - “

Felix had already started walking.

He felt only a mild sense of relief as Dimitri’s steps echoed behind him.

Rodrigue was a strange father, always concerned about duty to community or friends or whatever it was he was on about. Felix found him simultaneously suffocating and off-putting and they hadn’t gotten along since he’d said Glenn was in some better place now. As though being stuffed in a tiny box in the ground could ever be  _ better _ .

Still, Felix could admit to a small bit of appreciation for how Rodrigue tried to make Felix  _ prepared _ . He always managed to find new and interesting keyrings for Felix to take with him and on Felix’s last birthday his old man had gifted him an engraved pocket knife that Felix always carried with him.

His flashlight was surprisingly strong for being a little keychain. Felix swung it about, confident with every step he took. 

The perimeter was surrounded with an old wrought-iron fence meant to look quaint and medieval. When he was small, Felix thought it was imposing. Now, it was just another challenge to overcome.

“I really don’t think we should do this.” Dimitri cautioned 

“Then go home. I'll do it myself.” Felix was used to people disappearing without explanation. He didn't feel much of anything about it anymore.

“You used to hate being left alone.”

“I was a stupid kid.” He knew better now. Felix would always get left alone, eventually.

Felix pushed that thought away before it could burn in his belly. Instead, he stepped back, took a deep breath, and launched himself forward.

It wasn’t easy to climb the fence but he managed, swinging over with a flourish to land crouched on his feet on the inside of the park. Felix casually stood up and looked back to Dimitri, daring him.

Dimitri shook his head. He glanced up once, then back to Felix, and then grabbed one of the iron bars.

Damn his long - his long everything. Dimitri landed right next to Felix, looking like it took no effort at all. 

“Showoff.” Felix muttered beneath his breath.

“I thought you made it look much more exciting.” Dimitri replied, fussing over a leaf that was caught on his jacket. 

“Right - come on.” Felix turned his attention back to the tower. “Let’s get going.”

He didn't need to look at Dimitri to know that he was frowning. But still, the blonde followed as Felix ventured closer towards the center and the hedge maze.

In the darkness, it looked – it  _ felt –  _ cold. The stone statues of knights and royals looked plain during the day but now, deep shadows seemed to give them hard expressions. Felix quickly swung his light away to focus instead on the long rows of white flowers and yellow tulips.

“I think we used to come here. When we were little. We rode the carousel.” Dimitri murmured offhandedly. “Do you remember the year Glenn - “

“That was a long time ago.” Felix interrupted. Dimitri shouldn't be talking about the past anyway.

“It does feel that way sometimes, doesn't it?” Dimitri walked up to gently touch a small silver plaque near a gutted ticket office. It was plain enough, just declaring the location a  _ historical site  _ as though it somehow made it more important than any other area in the city. It was an old tourist trap, for Sothis's sake, and whatever they used it for before that.

“You liked the black horse with the sword, didn't you? The one with the teal and - “ Dimitri furrowed his eyebrows. “I can't remember what I rode.”

“A wild boar. Someone magic markered on an eyepatch to make it look like a pirate.” Felix pushed onwards, trying not to think about it. The first time, they'd both gone for the same horse. Felix had climbed victoriously up on the black one and Dimitri had smiled, patiently taking the weird-looking pig thing beside it and saying he already knew how to ride horses. It was only the partial truth – Lambert had let them both ride on the back of a small pony at the stable a few hours away, but it was a truth nonetheless. Dimitri would always relent just a second before Felix would burst into tears over something completely vapid.

Felix was stronger now. He hadn't cried at all since  _ then _ . Not that Dimitri would know that.

“Do you think they're still there?” Dimitri glanced thoughtfully towards his right.

“We're here for the tower, not for that carousel.” Felix deliberately kept his eyes on the looming shape in the center. “Come on.”

Dimitri followed.

There was something indeed eerie about the place. Many of the statues had appendages missing. Even with the looming shadow of the tower to guide him, Felix felt strangely displaced. His own memories didn't even seem to help.

Like most of the rest of the place, the maze had been left to its own devices. The once-carefully maintained hedges were starting to grow wildly and the few statues that had always been at the entrance were overgrown with browning vines.

This would be simple enough. It was always intended for children after all.

Felix stepped through the barrier, Dimitri right behind him.

“Does it smell - “ Dimitri started uneasily. They hadn’t gone in too deep yet but somehow the air was different. He could still see the stars above them but the entrance into the maze had disappeared from view. 

“Smells like grass.” Felix replied. And yet – there was something underneath it. Something – sweet? Cloyingly sweet. Now that he noticed it, it was everywhere, in his nose, his throat. He heard music, soft as windchimes.

“Felix? What are y - ”

Lights danced in front of his eyes. The music hummed, waltzed, pulling him, calling him - 

Felix blinked.

He’d stepped into a large garden covered in red dahlias and monkshood. Groups of fireflies danced around the large hedges and little candles lit the space. People dressed in reds and violets danced around, their faces hidden behind glittering feathered masks. Somewhere, someone was playing music, and even though Felix couldn’t hear it he could  _ feel  _ it deep within his blood.

“We’ve been waiting for you.”

Dimitri stood in front of him. He looked… 

Regal.

He was dressed in dark blues and blacks, his shoulders covered by soft-looking white furs that wove all along his fitted clothes..

“What - “ Felix started, struggling to remember… something. Something important. But his eyes couldn’t leave Dimitri’s as the blonde stepped forward, extending a black-gloved hand. “Where a - “

Dimitri’s arm wrapped around his waist and drew him close. Felix looked up, fixated on the other’s blue eyes. Their hands joined and they moved, swaying along with the distant music.

“Where are we?” Feli murmured, trying in vain to look around at the other revelers. Somehow, they seemed… unreal. Nothing  _ felt  _ real except Dimitri’s warm body against his own.

“It doesn't matter.” Dimitri smiled and Felix felt calmer. “You’re here. With me.”

That was - 

Why didn’t he want to be with Dimiri? Alone, no one else to intrude, nothing to interrupt him, to separate them, nothing - 

Some of the revelers laughed and it sounded like dry leaves shaking in the wind. Strange. It should matter.  _ This  _ should - 

“Stay here with me, Felix.” Dimiri let go to brush a strand of hair away from Felix’s temple, the barest touch making Felix warm all over. “Just like you wanted.”

What he…

Wait.

On instinct, Felix’s fist flew upwards, going straight into Dimitri’s jaw.

Dimitri’s head snapped back like a twig. It flopped forward again, his eyes going black as his jaw cracked and fragmented.

The arm around his waist grew iron-tight as Felix thrashed, unable to move as the not-Dimitri  _ thing  _ peered closer, his entire face crumbling to pieces…

Felix fell back against the earth.

He jerked, smacking whatever he could as he flailed. Something was still holding onto his arm and he - and he - He stopped, breath harsh as his flashlight came upon a web of briars tangled around his sleeve.

Felix tugged around in his pocket and hastily drew his pocketknife. The briars clattered harmlessly to the ground as he cut himself free and crawled backwards.

He didn’t move until his heart slowed until his breath didn’t come out as panicked wheezes.

He was alone in a small alcove, the only other objects nearby a small statue of some weird goat-thing playing a flute. Dimitri was…

“Dimitri?” Felix scrambled to his feet. “Dimitri!” He had to be somewhere, somehow, there was no way - “Dimitri!”

Silence.

Felix fumbled back, wildly swinging his flashlight. No way. No way was any of this - it wasn’t  _ real _ . Dimitri was just, he was just somewhere - 

He heard a rustle. Felix stepped back, gripping tightly to his knife as he braced himself. He raised his makeshift weapon, ready to - 

Dimitri’s hand shot out, grabbing tightly to Felix’s wrist.

Felix’s breath echoed harshly in the silence as his other hand gripped to Dimitri’s sleeve.

“You - “ Was it him? Was this just another illusion? How did - 

Dimitri grimaced. Felix glanced down to see redness. He stuffed his knife back into his pocket and anxiously grabbed onto Dimitri’s fingers to turn his hand over to reveal several deep, bloodied scratches.

“What did you do?” Felix grumbled, trying to get a better view of the injury. They were shallow cuts, thankfully, but he could tell from the way Dimitri’s fingers twitched that it was bothering him.

“Nothing serious. Just scraped myself on - on some briars.” Dimitri made a particularly weak, fake laugh. “I’m fine, truly.” He hesitated as Felix fumbled around in his pocket. “Felix, what are you - ?”

“Shut up.” Felix ripped the bottom of his shirt, the sound echoing around the empty air. He tied it tightly around Dimitri’s hand.

“Are you all right?” Dimitri’s fingers curled around his. “You’re shaking.”

“I’m fine.” He was. He was  _ fine _ . It was just - it was his imagination. He’d never  _ actually  _ want any of that, ever, Felix couldn’t  _ have  _ that. “You’re the one who’s sweating.”

“A little.” Dimitri’s hand twitched again and for a moment that perfect, pleasant expression wavered. “Felix, did you - “ He stopped, shaking his head. “It’s nothing. I think it’s about time for us to leave now.”

Felix didn’t back down. He didn’t disengage from a fight.

“Yeah.” Felix dropped Dimitri’s hand. “Yeah, it’s late. Let’s - “He swung his flashlight around to try and get his bearings. “Didn’t we come in from that way?”

“I’m not sure. “ Dimitri frowned. “There should be two exits.”

It was all in his head. It would be fine as soon as they backed out. They were facing the Goddess Tower so they just needed to walk away from it, right? Determined, he took several steps, trying to remember the path they’d mapped out. It couldn’t be that far from the entrance, surely.

He was met with a wall of green and only one winding turn leading back towards the tower.

“Felix?”

“This is ridiculous.” Felix spun on his heel and traced his steps back. He’d just - they weren’t lost. They weren’t. He’d taken a left, then a right, then - 

“What the  _ fuck _ ?” Felix choked out.

No matter which direction he turned, all he saw was the Goddess Tower looming upwards against the stars.

Behind him, Dimitri stepped closer. “Am I imagining this?”

“No. It’s not - we’re fine.” Felix forced a step, then another, then another. “This isn’t - “

The Goddess Tower remained in front of them.

Dimitri’s fingers wrapped around his and this time, Felix didn’t protest.

This wasn’t real.

He’d wake up.

“I don’t think we have a choice.” Slowly, Dimitri stepped forward. Felix could feel his pulse, frantic, off-kilter, and his face was still ghostly pale.

Felix thought uncomfortably about old times, of how many moments over the years were defined by having Dimitri’s hand wrapped in his. Like most things of his childhood, he’d cast it aside and swore to stop fixating on it.

“Why did you leave?”

Dimitri halted.

Felix sucked in a breath and looked away. “Forget it. It’s not important.”

“I did not want to.” Dimitri squeezed his hand gently. “Really. I did not.”

“But you did.” Felix tried to keep the bitterness out. He  _ tried _ .

“But I did.” Dimitri answered neutrally. “Felix, if I - “

The hedge maze began to open up. And Felix shuddered.

The’d approached a circle with statues all along the perimeter. Felix swung his flashlight around and desperately wished he hadn’t. 

They were all people, or at least people-shaped. Several had missing limbs, another few seemed completely frozen in some unseen horror. All of them were angled perfectly so it looked as though they were watching the two intruders.

Felix heard music again.

“Don’t look.” Dimitri murmured, forcefully staring ahead. “Felix, don’t look.”

He clenched his jaw and breathed. Statues. They were just statues. They weren’t real. None of this was - 

Dimitri stopped and Felix nearly collided with his back.

“What the - “ Felix looked past him.

Another statue, huddled in the corner. It was also human-shaped -  _ familiar _ ; sitting with its left hand shoved through carefully-groomed hair and its right clawing into its watery eye. It was laughing, judging by the open mouth and the odd tilt of its head.

Maybe it was. The music increased and with it, Felix heard a giggle; high-pitched and mad. It turned into a laugh - many of them, echoing through the empty space.

“Dimitri?” Felix yanked his hand and Dimitri didn’ budge. “We need to go.”

Nothing. Dimitri kept his gaze on that damned statue, his entire body trembling.

“Hey, wake up - “

The thing  _ moved _ in cracked, jerking motions. It tore at its face, wailing, smiling, entirely mad.

“Dimitri. Mitya.” Felix yanked and yanked as the laughs grew hysterical and mocking. They needed to - 

“Go.” Dimitri mumbled, sounding very, very far away. “I have to - “

“Don’t be stupid!” It was just an illusion. Just like all of this and - 

Dimitri pushed him forward.

Into Dimitri.

Felix’s head spun.

“What’s wrong?” Dimitri asked, holding him close. He shone with some odd light coming from soft candles in the corner near red flowers. “Did I say something upsetting?” The air was full of calming scents; the distant sound of music and soft laughter echoing all around them.

This wasn’t - he tried to push himself away from the other. “This isn’t - “

Dimitri just smiled and held him close, letting Felix inhale the soft scent of rich cologne. He wore black - plain black, his eyes - 

“This isn’t right.” Felix insisted firmly. His heart was pounding too loudly; his nerves too taut. “Something’s not right.”

“But it is right.” Dimitri’s grip was possessive, calming. “You’re here with me.”

Felix looked past him to the grounds, lit by more candles and splashed with warm colors. More people danced and laughed, their bare feet making barely a sound against the soft grass.

“You left.” Yes. That was right. That was  _ important _ . “I needed you and you left.”

“You won’t have to leave me ever again. We can stay right here.” Dimitri tightened his hold, and it felt choking, containing. Felix couldn’t seem to breathe over the thick smell of earth and flowers. “I want you to stay with me for eternity.” The revelers cooed, a soothing, twisting sound laced with excitement. Felix wished he could see their faces.

“You’re going to graduate and leave again.” Everyone left. Glenn left. Dimitri left. Sylvain - even Sylvain left him behind, hadn’t he?

“Not if you stay with me.” Dimitri’s voice dropped, hypnotic. “Say you’ll stay.”

“I - “ Felix closed his eyes and tried to remember something other than that smell and the warm feeling of Dimitri. Dimitri’s hands, Dimitri’s voice, the urge to just  _ submit _ .

Dimitri’s too blue eyes - 

That wasn’t  _ right _ .

Felix opened his eyes again as he heard a sharp, high-pitched shriek.

Dimitri - the  _ real  _ one - swung something long and grey and the thing holding Felix close shattered into pieces. Felix jerked as black, rotted leaves and writhing black insects scattered around the ground. Brambles dug into his jacket and Felix yanked it off and jumped away into Dimitri’s chest. There was another loud wail all around them - so loud that Felix could hear it in his  _ teeth _ .

This Dimitri smelled of sweat and plain soap. He shook, the way he held onto Felix not nearly as possessive, as if he was clinging for dear life too.

“Did you see that?” Felix choked out. If Dimitri saw it - if he  _ heard  _ it - 

“I don’t know. It looked - it looked like leaves wrapping around you.” Dimitri pulled back, only a little so that Felix could breathe. “Are you unharmed?”

Felix looked down at the thing in his hands. “Is that a statue arm?”

“Th - oh.” Dimitri looked down at the long object in his hand. “I might have torn it off. It’s a little blurry.” He held it up, awkwardly twisting it around. It was definitely an arm with most of the fingers missing and the stone cracked at the shoulder. “I suppose I needed a hand?”

“You -.really? You’re making a joke right now?” It was nerves. Felix knew it was nerves but he suddenly didn’t care. ”Are you fucking - “

“Felix, I’m - “

“Don’t say you’re  _ fine _ ! We’re not fine!” Suddenly, hysterically, Felix couldn't stop himself. “You put on this fake - this fake  _ everything  _ and I see right through it! I can’t stand it!”

Dimitri’s expression flickered. “Felix - “ He looked down, chastised, and Felix considered shaking him or punching him or -  _ something  _ that Feix couldn’t pin down or make sense of.

“I hate seeing you - you acting like it’s o big deal to be  _ hurt _ . You’re not - “ Behind them, there was a low hiss.

Felix clamped his teeth shut and bowed his head. Another hiss, this time closer. He shivered.

Dimitri just stared, too stunned to speak.

“Forget it. We need to get going.” Felix steadied himself and grabbed onto Dimitri’s sleeve. “Don’t let go of me.”

This Dimitri was real. This Dimitri  _ had  _ to be the real one. Because he was still so  _ fake _ .

This time, Dimitri stayed close, his arm entwined with Felix’s. Felix didn’t complain, too fixated on trying to keep his eyes forward. They had to be getting close because the tower was definitely bigger.

“Do you remember the accident?” Dimitri asked quietly.

Of course Felix did. It was - it was stupid. Some stupid oil truck driver swerved and took up three lanes of traffic during rush hour on the interstate. Multiple cars were involved and in mere minutes, Dimitri had not only been made an orphan but the only survivor and a media darling about his “miraculous recovery” for a whole month.

Felix saw him every weekend in the hospital until he’d been cleared to return home under supervision of his uncle.

And then Glenn died, and Dimitri disappeared, and everything went to shit.

“I was in and out of a mental hospital for three years. That’s why I left.”

Felix stumbled. Dimitri caught him, his hand wrapping unsteadily around Felix’s chest until the shorter teenager regained his balance.

“What the  _ fuck _ ?” Felix turned his head back, looking for any sign of - of something. Dimitri’s face was blank but it was him, his grip gentle and blue eyes sad.

“I’m sorry. I understand if you - “ Dimitri almost let go but Felix clamped down on his hand.

“No! I -  _ fuck _ .” Felix breathed and shook his head. “That’s not something you just -” Goddess. “We’re talking about this. Later.”

No wonder he’d disappeared without a word. No wonder all Felix ever heard was  _ he’s away _ . Dimitri’s family was still considered “high class” and that meant all scandals needed to be neatly hidden beneath the largest rug money could buy.

“Yes, well.” Dimitri twitched.

Felix caught it too. A slow, steady hiss of a sound, like leaves scraping along the fall ground. And then another laugh, soft and manic.

“Don’t let go of me this time.” Felix ordered.

They ran. 

Behind them, the noises grew stronger, almost like angry snakes running along the ground. The hedges  _ moved _ , rippling like claws and Felix cursed as a few loose branches tried to tangle with his hair. Dimiri pulled him along, their flashlight bobbing and leading them closer - closer - 

And then they were there, right in front of the Goddess Tower.

Vines crawled everywhere including the three statues that stood at the edge. At some point they might have looked impressive - the old Saints from legends, but now they were being choked on by thick greenery laced with bright red flowers. Beneath the foliage, Felix could swear the statues were in pain.

Felix swept his flashlight upwards towards the top of the tower. 

“Do you see that?” Dimitri asked, craning his neck.

Felix did. The vines all stopped right beneath a rusted-iron ring near the top. There, the ends were black and withered.

“I think we’ll be safe if we get to the top.” Dimitri’s hand shook, just a little.

“I think it’s a trap.” Behind them, the hissing grew louder and angrier.

“I don’t think we have a choice.”

They both ran. Something nipped at Felix’s sneakers and he felt something unseen yanking at his pants leg. But Dimitri held tightly and between the two of them they reached the door and yanked it open. The tower doors groaned and gave, and they disappeared inside.

It was dark and smelled of rotting earth. Without the sky above them, the only way to see anything was Felix’s flashlight. He swung it around and saw bare walls covered in green and black mold and a floor covered in damp slime.

Felix knew, without a doubt, they were being watched. Very, very quietly he heard soft, steady clicks of insects moving somewhere unseen.

“It’s quite homely.” Dimitri said between shuddering breaths. “Do you see a stairwell?”

Felix swung his flashlight leftwards and indeed, there were stone stairs circling upwards and an old, crumbling railing following the path.

Dimitri led him towards it and took the first step up. They moved slowly, their steps hindered by the slippery moss.

The clicking grew louder.

“I’m sorry.” Felix mumbled almost too quietly to hear. “I didn’t know. No one told me.”

Dimitri paused and Felix saw his expression waver. “Not many people knew. My uncle - he made a lot of deals and accomodations. I can’t say I was in the right frame of mind to make them myself.”

“Do you - are you better?” Felix cringed inwardly. “I don’t mean - “

“Most days I have a therapist.”

“Oh. That’s - that’s good.” Felix fumbled out. Distantly, he heard another mocking laugh. “I’m - that’s really good.” Goddess. 

“He has a dog. I often think I spend more time speaking to the dog than the owner.” Dimitri stopped short as they reached a small half-floor.

The flowers were back.

Someone -  _ something  _ \- was curled into the corner. Felix caught only a flash of hair and white and the laugh - mad, twisted, clawlike hands digging into its face with renewed vigor.

Dimitri shivered, suddenly very still and very quiet. His hand dropped to his side.

“This isn’t real.” Felix tugged, trying to get a response.  _ Any  _ response. “It’s not  _ real  _ Dimitri.” The thing - whatever it is - crawled forward, muttering to itself. It had golden hair like - 

“Isn’t it?”

Felix braced himself and turned.

The fake Dimitri was there too; ethereal and almost glowing. An acrid-sweet smell rused through the air and Felix’s head spun as the other approached. Not real. Not real. It wasn’t  _ real.  _ He needed to - 

To do something - 

His hands felt velvet-soft as he cupped Felix’s face. Felix blinked, trying to push the fog away from his mind and focus on the simmering rage. If he could just hold onto it, even briefly - 

“Don’t you want to stay with me?” Dimitri -  _ not Dimitri  _ \- wasn’t he? - whispered softly as he stroked Felix’s cheek. “We’ll not leave you. You can be happy here with me.”

“I don’t want you.” Felix repeated stubbornly. That was it. That was - that was important. This was  _ fake _ . “You’re not him.”

Dimitri -  _ not him not him not him  _ -’s lips turned downwards in a childish pout. “I can be him for you.”

Felix tried to step back but his legs felt very far away. The mockery of Dimitri stepped closer and the rest of the world went hazy. He saw blurs in the background - the figure clawing towards someone that just fell to their knees but - 

“Don’t.” Felix protested, struggling against - against what?

“We like you. We want you to stay here.” The frown twisted, turning even more alien. Like someone who was trying very hard to replicate a human face. “Stay with us.” Behind him, there were whispers - excited giggles. “That one is broken. Leave him for us.”

The rage snapped back. Felix dug into his pocket and in one fluid motion slammed his knife into the fake Dimitri’s stomach.

He felt a squelch and then something black and oily covered his hand. The image changed, the fake Dimitri’s eyes turning beetle-black. Felix shoved himself away, slashing at the stranger again.

The fake Dimitri snarled, too-white teeth too  _ big  _ in his mouth. Felix shoved him away to find - 

“Dimitri.” The real one was on the ground, huddled in with his arms covering his head. Thick brambles were wrapped tight around his throat and wrists and he was struggling to breathe. Felix slashed at them, uncaring as his hands were scratched and torn.

Dimitri wheezed, slumping weakly against Felix as he was freed. “I’m - I’m - “

“Dimitri we need to go.  _ Now _ .” He yanked and tugged and Dimitri rose on rubber legs, stumbling as Felix led him back to the steps.

The ground shuddered and Felix ignored how it seemed to suddenly fill with something black that oozed its way upwards towards the staircase. He yanked Dimitri along, upwards, the howls and manic cackles echoing all around them. So close, they had to - they had to - 

A hatch blocked their way. Felix shoved all his weight into it and somehow, Dimitri came back to himself enough to push and push and - 

Something grabbed onto Felix’s ankle, then his shin. He scrabbled - 

Dimitri pulled him through the small opening.

Behind them, black insects skittered out and made a high-pitched scream of rage that rose and rose and rose and - 

And stopped when they hit an iron perimeter around the hatch. The insects twisted, turning into leaves, and then dust.

The tower shuddered and the screams turned into mournful wails.

Felix collapsed into Dimitri’s arms and they watched as everything went quiet. Slowly, Felix buried his head into Dimitri’s chest and focused only on the rabbit-quick hammering of his heart.

Dimitri’s arms went around Felix’s back. His hands were awkward; his nails caught against the fabric of Felix’s shirt. He smelled sweaty and not at all flowery.

Goddess.

Felix was  _ tired _ .

“Was any of it real?”

“I don’t know.” Dimitri admitted quietly.

Felix’s head slumped again, somewhere above Dimitri’s stomach. He felt oddly boneless; held together just by Dimitri’s solid frame. “Is this real?”

“I think so. The wind feels real enough.”

Felix rolled his head to stare past Dimitri’s body and out to the world around them. They were indeed at the top of the tower, nestled between the row of Saints statues as they looked out towards the town. Felix fumbled for his flashlight and was relieved to see it worked, even if - 

“Dammit.” Felix groaned and flopped his head down again.

“What is it?”

“I lost my knife.” It was such a small thing but it grated. Somehow, it was far better a thing to focus on than - whatever else happened. He could still feel the phantom touch on his cheek and see the empty, glasslike stare of the Dimitri clone.

“It didn’t have your eyes.” Felix finally mumbled. “It kept trying to look like you but it couldn’t.”

“When I - I don’t remember doing it but I injured myself. My right iris is slightly discolored.” Dimitri flopped his head back, “Surgery saved it.”

“Oh.” Felix went very, very quiet. He let his hand roam slowly along the edges of Dimitri’s jacket, shivering slightly as the sweat chilled on his skin. “I’m sorry, Dimitri.”

Dimitri looked down at him curiously. “For what?”

“This is my fault.” Felix couldn’ meet his gaze. “If I’d just - I shouldn’t have acted like that.”

“I did choose to follow you of my own volition.” Dimitri moved Felix around slightly so his head could rest comfortably against Dimitri’s shoulder. “Although you are correct. You could have stayed and eaten cupcakes with Lysithea all night.”

Felix snorted.

And then snorted again.

And then he felt tears forming at the edges of his eyes as more hysterical laughter bubbled up.

Dimitri rubbed his back and Felix clung for dear life.

He wasn’t really sure if he slept or not. He must have, or just gone unconscious for a while. Occasionally he’d hear a soft laugh or a noise of a cricket and Felix would tense, gaze fixed outwards at the distant lights of the town.

Some time between consciousness and a dreamless, exhausted daze,, Dimtiri pulled off his jacket and wrapped it tightly around Felix’s shoulders. It smelled - sweaty and beneath that something unique to the blonde that Felix remembered all too clearly. He’d nuzzled into the fur collar and let his eyes close again, mumbling half-answers as he tried to gauge how late it was.

“What do you want to do? When you graduate?” Felix finally mumbled from against the fur.

“I’m not quite sure. Be a defense lawyer maybe, but that still seems so far away.” Dimitri mused. “You?”

“I don’t know.” It was simple, when Glenn was alive. “Why am I supposed to know what to do for the rest of my life?” He wanted too many things. He couldn’t imagine some tedious desk job or being around people every day or not having Sylvain plucking his nerves or Dimitri - 

Dimitri being gone again.

“You could take a gap year. I’ve considered that more than once.”

“Maybe.”

“It’s a perfect time to consider that road trip to see all the sword museums, I think.”

Felix lightly smacked his arm. “I was  _ eight  _ when I said that.”

“We should do something to warm up.”

“I don’t have any matches.” And there was nothing to kindle around them.

“Do you want to dance?”

Felix immediately recoiled. “Dimitri - “

Dimitri was already moving to sit up. Felix watched him, noting the stiffness in his limbs.

“Just for a few minutes. Then we’ll settle again.” Dimiri held his hand out and Felix took it. He’d rewrapped Dimitri’s injured palm and his own, still anxious about the deep scratches. They were going to hurt for a few days still.

Maybe always, Felix thought sourly.

“I’m not some girl you know.” Felix kept his eyes open, relieved when the world stayed dark and cold. Dimitri’s hand entwined with his and his arm went to Felix’s hip, entirely chaste.

Felix slowly - hesitantly - rested his free hand on Dimitri’s shoulder. 

“Okay - like this - “ Slowly, Dimitri pulled him forward, his steps echoing in the quiet. “Got it?”

“Are you trying to teach me a waltz?” Felix grumbled, ignoring his unsteady nerves. No flowers - no music, just Dimitri counting quietly and letting him follow the steps. No other students, no other imaginary dancers circling them like hungry ravens.

“Foxtrot.” Dimitri spun them and Felix’s foot slipped. He felt himself stumbling backwards - 

And Dimiri caught him, pulling him flush against his chest.

“I won’t let you fall.”

Felix wanted to believe him. “Dancing’s overrated.”

He must have dozed off again. He heard - static? A high-pitched noise that - 

**“HELLO?! CAN YOU HEAR ME?!** ”

Felix jerked and yelped as his head collided with Dimitri’s chin. The blonde said something entirely rude - by Dimitri standards - and his arms loosened around Felix.

**“ARE YOU HURT UP THERE?!** ”

Beyond the tower, the sun was starting to rise and paint the sky in greys and pinks. Felix looked lower, towards the grounds he hadn’t dared view before.

There, Alois, chief police officer of the entire town was standing next to one very tired looking Rodrigue Fraldarius.

“Good morning!” Dimitri shouted, waving. Felix didn’t dare - not yet.

“ **THE GROUNDSKEEPER SAW YOUR FLASHLIGHT AND REPORTED IT.”** Alois paused, flailing around with the megaphone in his hand. “ **GIVE US A FEW MINUTES TO CALL FOR A LADDER AND WE WILL GET YOU DOWN.** ”

“Thank you!” Dimitri leaned close, his arm protectively wrapped around Felix’s stomach.

“You don’t think - this isn’t another trap, is it?” Felix tugged Dimitri’s jacket tight around his shoulders. His hands still hurt - his  _ body  _ hurt. He wanted to sleep for days and dream of nothing.

“I don’t know.” Dimitri let out a nervous breath. “But I will be with you. “

“Yeah.” Felix looked down at his father as more vehicles started to drive down towards the carnival grounds. “I know.”


End file.
